The Talk You Need To Have With Your Parents: It is Not The Birds & The Bees, But Maybe Just As Uncomfortable

When you were a kid, your parents dreaded the talk they had to have with you.  You know the one.  Well, now that you are an adult, there’s a talk you need to have with your parents that is likely to be just as squirm-worthy – which is why so many of us put it off.  

It’s about money.  Specifically, your parent’s money.  The money that may become yours one day. Or may not. 

Whether you or your parents think it’s none of your business, it is.  You are most likely the one(s) who will need to deal with all the financial issues your parents leave behind when they become incapacitated or after they die. 

Not knowing anything about their finances will place you at an immediate disadvantage, making what will be a hard job almost impossible.  

So how do you get the conversation started?  Here are some tips from a recent New York Times column on the subject:

Think about what you need to know.  You need to know more than where to find the will, you need to know if parents have executed powers of attorney, advance health care directives or a trust as well.  You need to know if they have life insurance or other assets and, if so, where the policy is located.  You need to know if they keep a list of all their debts and, if they bank and pay bills online, you need their log-in information for each account.  

Bring in a support team.  Your parents may feel more comfortable discussing financial issues with their attorney or financial planner present to facilitate the conversation. They may also feel more comfortable talking with all their children at once, or to only one – take family dynamics into consideration.  And call us in at the beginning of the process.  We can help ease the way tremendously.

Make a plan.  Chances are you will need immediate access to cash in order to pay expenses related to a parent’s passing.  Since probate can be a lengthy process, you may want to plan for this eventuality by having parents establish a revocable living trust, which allows assets to pass outside probate.  

Document storage.  Be sure your parents do NOT store their important documents in a bank safe deposit box  without taking precautions because getting at them could require you to obtain a court order.  First, make sure they have instructions on where the box is and who has permission to open it if anything happens to them.  Maybe even make sure you are a signer (and there are back-ups besides you) on the safe deposit box.  Or just use a strongbox or safe that is kept in the home instead. 

If you would like to have a talk about estate planning for your family, call our office today to schedule a time for us to sit down and talk. We normally charge $750 for a Family Plan Session, but because this planning is so important, we’ve made space for the next two people who mention this article to have a complete planning session with your parents at no charge. Please call, (978) 296-4140, email info@wilsonlf.com, or visit our website www.wilsonlf.com to learn more about how we can help you give yourself and your parents peace of mind.

Wilson, lf is a family-focused boutique law firm specializing in estate planning located in Andover, Massachusetts and Washington, DC.  We help parents like you organize your affairs, in style, to protect your investments and provide for your loved ones.  We are so passionate about providing "a plan for every family" that we meet families throughout Massachusetts and DC in their homes or offices and have some evening and weekend appointments available every month for utmost convenience.